Sunday, December 17, 2006

How Not to Make Love to Yourself - February Fontaine

Have you done the following? You stand in front of a mirror wearing nothing but a black velvet corset and a long black beaded necklace. The corset has a lace up front and an under wire lace push up bra. You are also wearing a tiny lacy black thong with matching garters, black hose and six inch black heels with a sexy black strap that goes around the ankle.

You look at yourself in the mirror and all you want to do is make love to yourself. There is hunger in your eyes and a sexual pang that is beating inside you like an African drum through the night. You have an itch and you want to scratch it.

Does this sound like you? Well, you are in luck. This article is all about how not to make love to yourself. I have a five step resistance plan that when implemented and practiced daily will help you overcome this self love addiction.

Step 1

When at home alone do not dress up in sexy lingerie. I know it's tempting to slink around the house wearing only a frilly g-string and a lacy racy bustier but you must resist this temptation. Wear something practical that doesn't show off your attributes to yourself. Wear an old sweat shirt and a pair of loose fitting jeans. And don't wear any sexy lingerie under this outfit. It will only tempt you.

Step 2

When looking at yourself in the mirror do not give yourself that come hither look. That is a no-no. You're just asking for trouble. You can smile at yourself and acknowledge yourself to yourself but don't give yourself that come hither look.

Step 3

When at home by yourself and you are looking for a little entertainment please relent from reading romance novels. You know the type, where some bare chested muscled he-man wearing only a loin cloth carries the heroine away in his arms into a candle lit bedroom full of lace and cotton and ravishes her all night long. Stay away from these novels. Try reading an espionage story or better yet, watch the Disney channel.

Step 4

Eat chocolate.

Step 5

Cold showers. They always work. The colder the better. Some days you may have to take five or six of them.

Well, there you have it, my easy 5 Step Resistance Plan on how not to make love to yourself. If implemented and applied correctly this easy 5 step plan will surely aid you in your time of need.

And don't forget that old saying - opportunity may only knock once, but temptation leans on the doorbell.

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To read more about February Fontaine and her lingerie please go to My Sexy Lingerie. The true life adventures of a girl and her underwear.

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