Saturday, August 26, 2006

Why Is It Harder for Women to Reach Orgasm - By: Gabrielle Moore

For men, reaching an orgasm is fairly simple whether they are with a partner or masturbating.

While most men do have preferences about the types of positions and stimulation they enjoy, it seems that almost anything can push them over the edge if they are already in a state of arousal.

With women, it's a bit different. In this article, we're going to look at four reasons why it can be harder for women to orgasm than men.

#1 Physical Reasons

The most obvious reason why women have a more difficult time reaching orgasms is physical.
Their sexual anatomy is built differently than men's and this has consequences when it comes to sexual pleasure.

For men, orgasm is relatively easy because the source of their sexual pleasure is the penis. The penis is not only completely visible but it can easily be stimulated. Additionally, a man's arousal level is easier to recognize: an erect penis usually means he is ready for sexual intercourse and capable of reaching orgasm.

For women, it's not so straight forward.

The main pleasure center for women is the clitoris which is approximately the same size as the penis but which is mostly concealed. The part of the clitoris which is accessible can not be easily stimulated by the penis through normal penetration. Even during masturbation, women must often try multiple methods and positions before finding the right combination to lead to an orgasm. Furthermore, signs of a woman's arousal may not be as easy to spot unless her partner is looking for them specifically.

The consequences of these physical differences are that women have a more difficult road to travel when it comes to orgasms. It doesn't mean they are any less capable of reaching an orgasm; it just means that it typically takes a little more effort and education.

#2 Emotional Reasons

One thing I've heard women tell me about men is that they believe men can get off with anyone and at any time. This is generally in the form of a complaint because the women feel they are not able to reach orgasm that readily.

While it isn't true that men can reach orgasm at the drop of a hat, men usually do not have as much difficulty with orgasms as women do. A man can meet a strange woman in a bar, take her to his car, have sex in the backseat without even learning her name, and can have an orgasm.
Unless he is an exceptional lover, the woman he is with is not as likely to get the same payoff from the encounter.

The question is why is there such a difference.

The answer is fairly simple. Women are more likely to feel uncomfortable with their bodies and have a more difficult time discussing sexual issues, as a result they won't be able to achieve an orgasm with just anyone.

It's unfair to expect men to automatically know how to bring a woman to orgasm. Every woman's body and mental state is different so men have to learn how to help each new partner reach orgasm in her own way. Doing that requires communication and openness: two things which require trust in a relationship.

When women do not entirely trust their partners, they are less likely to open up and discuss problems in the relationship, particularly problems in the bedroom. They sometimes fear that their partners will judge them or ridicule them because of what feels good to them. This discomfort may be elevated if they have been faking orgasms because they don't want to hurt their partners by disclosing the truth.

Another trust-related issue is that many women hold back during sex because they are not completely comfortable with their partners or themselves. For example, if a woman thinks her thighs are too big, then she may be so fixated on what her partner thinks of them that she won't free her mind enough to get pleasure from sex. If she feels pressured to have sex or is concerned about the fidelity of her partner, then she also may find it difficult to get into the proper mind set for an orgasm.

Remember that the most important sexual organ in the human body is the brain. If it's not ready for sexual pleasure, then sexual pleasure will not happen.Gabrielle Moore is the owner of the Newsletter "Female Orgasm Tips" and founder of http://www.femaleorgasmrevealed.com

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