Problems in Getting the Sex Life You Want and Deserve - Starting With J
By Levi Reiss

Whether heterosexual, homosexual, or somewhere in the middle we all want to improve our sex life. Who wants to be alone? We can't offer you an article, magic pill, perfume, potion, or pick-up line that will automatically send you and your intended partner to the bedroom. However, I really do believe that you can perk up your sex life whoever you are.

This article focuses on the problems and pitfalls that prevent you from improving your sex life. Another series focuses on what you should be doing. Both our "negative" and "positive" suggestions will help you get what you want. Here we look at jail, jarring, and jealous.

J is for jail. This is real serious stuff. There are things that you can go to jail for, and there are things that you really should go to jail for. I'm not going to list either list here; I don't want to give you any ideas. Jail is no fun. And the sex is jail is no fun, at least not for most people. When you think about it, there are so many ways you and your partner can enjoy yourselves without jail or anything like it. Now if you do go to jail you may want to spend your time, and there will be a lot of it, trying to avoid sex. So focus on the sex outside, and staying out of jail. You know what to do, and what not to do.

J is for jarring. Don't shake people up, either in the bed or outside of it. Keep your activities within bounds, which to a large extent means two or perhaps more consenting adults. I can't understand how people can be successful using jarring and that includes verbal jarring as a come-on or as foreplay. But to be honest, would I lie to you, such things do happen. Am I naïve to believe that such activities are less successful with modern, emancipated women?

J is for jealous. Sexual jealousy is a terrible thing. Somewhere in the relationship you have to set out the ground rules about dating others. What's good for the two (or more) of you is not necessarily good for others. But what's good for the goose is good for the gander. Take a gander at that couple in the corner, they're doing it with a goose. How can you be jealous of a goose? The rule no geese doesn't mean that you are jealous of geese or don't like them. Actually I love goose, roast goose.

Are you tired of all this negativity? Take a look at our companion series that accentuates the positive.

Levi Reiss has authored or co-authored ten books on computers and the Internet, but to be honest, he would rather just drink fine wine, eat fine food, and enjoy life. He teaches classes in computers at an Ontario French-language community college. Among his many web sites he is particularly proud of his new site celebrating all kinds of love including physical love at www.sexsexesex.com. You will find a wide range of jokes, articles, and quotes devoted to various aspects of sex and a great collection of photos. If you don't know French, enjoy the translations. Check out his global wine website at www.theworldwidewine.com.

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