Saturday, July 01, 2006

Surviving Infidelity - By Peter Emerson

Couples can survive infidelity if they are willing to restore the foundation of their marriage – trust.

The first step in learning to trust again is to acknowledge that the infidelity may be the fault not of one, but of both. Couples should realize how far away they might have strayed from the value they placed in each other at the beginning of their marriage. A couple may have gotten lost in the frenzy of marriage life (such as children), compelling one of them to stray.

Surviving infidelity takes time. While it may be impossible to readily go back to the lovey-dovey stage of marriage, the couple can slowly build trust by communicating again.

Forgiveness is obviously necessary if recovery from infidelity is to be permanent. Forgiveness is a repeated process that is more mental than verbal. It is a commitment, not just an emotion – it holds forever, and is not a ‘one-time’ event.

Sadly, there are circumstances when forgiveness may be desirable and reconciliation is not possible (nor healthy). One such situation is when the infidelity of a spouse is habitual. Recurring infidelity may be a result of deviant character development, such as when a person thrives on dishonest behavior and takes advantage of others. Some people may derive a perverse sense of satisfaction from having a secret relationship, accumulating sexual experiences and cheating his or her spouse.

Recurring infidelity can also be a result of sexual addiction characterized by a condition in which sexual gratification is sought compulsively in a frequency and manner not available in the context of marriage. Unlike the person exhibiting a deviant character, the sexual addict may feel remorseful at some point, yet feel helpless to stop the behavior. In such cases, reconciliation may not be the best cure. The husband and wife are usually better off in their own separate ways, and their healing will have to take place separately.

Infidelity provides detailed information on Infidelity, Surviving Infidelity, Signs Of Infidelity, Emotional Infidelity and more. Infidelity is affiliated with Divorce Attorneys.

Article Source: