Wednesday, February 08, 2006

What Women Want Before, During, and After Sex - By Patricia Lee

Women are a mystery, even to ourselves. That's because we manage our lives through our emotions, unlike men, who are more logic driven. Sometimes she's really into sex and other times she's pushing you away. What's a man to do? Here are some ideas to make it easier.

Before sex begins, she needs to feel loved, appreciated, and respected. Starting out with sincere compliments, maybe a nice dinner or something similar, and kissing are generally the way to go. There may be times when she's in the mood to skip the preliminaries, but for the most part, a little romance goes a long way.

Moving on to foreplay, be sure she has at least one orgasm. That's a hard and fast rule. If you don't, she's not going to like the rest of it as much as she should. If you don't know how to give her an orgasm, three simple words, stimulate the clitoris. Ok, got it? Use your tongue or a vibrator, whatever it takes to get her going. Trust me, the better you are for her, the better she will be for you.

All the hype about stimulating the g-spot deserves a mention here. Yes, g-spot stimulation is great but if your only doing that and ignoring the clitoris, your not really accomplishing much. Not sure where the g-spot is? There is tons of information out there to tell you but I suggest getting a g-spot vibrator and using that while stimulating the clitoris. She will like it, trust me.

Wanting to give her multiple orgasms? As soon as she has her first orgasm, stop stimulating the clitoris for a bit. Use the vibrator and stimulate the g-spot. In a matter of minutes she will be ready for clitoral stimulation again. The clitoris needs a minute or so after orgasm or it will be way to sensitive to touch. You should be able to tell by her reaction when to begin again.

What? She doesn't want anything to do with a vibrator? Yes, I know there are women out there who obviously have never tried them so don't know what they are missing. If this is the case, start with a small one that won't intimidate her, or buck up buddy and be prepared to work a little harder. If your intimidated by a vibrator, you shouldn't be. It makes your job easier and it certainly will never be a replacement for you.

Ok, the next part all depends on what you want. If you want to go straight to intercourse, no problem, she is ready by now. However, if you want something else, for example felatio, then maybe you better make sure she is totally satisfied. When she's pushing you away and begging you to stop, then you can be proud of a job well done. Hopefully she will be inspired to return the favor. If she needs a hint, use some flavored massage oil, pour some chocolate sauce, or spray some whipped cream on yourself.

What about an orgasm during sex? Yes, women can have them, but they aren't the mind blowing ones that come from clitoral stimulation. If she wants one, or you want her to have one during sex, try a finger vibrator. It slips on the finger and doesn't get in the way. It's best if she does it, because you're already pretty busy.

Ok, it's over. Your both exhausted and all you want to do is roll over and go to sleep. Wait. Take a minute to either A. Tell her how great it was or B. Tell her you love her, or C. both. Hug and kiss her, wrap your arms around her, then you can go to sleep. Of course, she's probably going to want to talk, but if you've done these things, she's not going to be too upset when you nod off.

As well as being a writer, Patricia Lee operates the website Adult Toy Stash. She began the website in an attempt to educate people on the joys of adult toys and sex. The website also offers an education section with an area devoted to men. If your interested in seeing more of her work or if your shopping for adult toys, visit

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