Sunday, August 27, 2006

You May Be Reducing Your Natural Sex Appeal By Faking Sensuousness? - By Christine Akiteng

All of us will agree that most individuals can and should increase their sexual attractiveness, but just how much skin is too much skin? And do “sexy" clothes get women what they really want?

Some of my male friends and clients say female bare skin especially parts that should traditionally be covered - even just a little bit - can trigger sexual thoughts instantly.

Personally, I believe that too much skin by itself is not necessarily sexually interesting because it does not necessarily involve a sensuous or excited or sexually interested state of mind, body and spirit of the person who is nude. A nude person with little expression or body language is just a naked body. Anatomy books are not erotic; they are not sensuous A stripper who performs before an audience just matter-of-factly, and with little apparent interest in what she is doing and looks like he or she is bored, tired, uninterested, spiritless, nervous, or just anxious to pick up their paycheck is not at all “sexy” unless one is stimulated by his or her own imagination.

Even in a culture such as where I was born and raised where women go about their daily chores topless, men hang out their super endowed privates in full frontal view and where more skin is in view than it might be in most other cultures, this is not an erotic experience for the person used to this culture. Similarly nude beaches or nudist camps lose their eroticism once the novelty wears off and once you realize that people, just by being nude, are not thereby necessarily insinuating they are interested in sex, in sex at the time, or in sex with you.

Now some feminists might find my views “degrading to women” since most regard all bare midriff and revealing clothing as degrading women; but I doubt this is a fair assessment, since some women who have a good self- image and high self-esteem enjoy showing a little more skin and some men who love, respect and think very highly of women can look at a woman's bare midriff without thinking any less of her.

How much clothing you wear (or not wear) isn't as nearly important as what your body says. Physical characteristics and how the body is dressed may be important and everything, but how a person carries or presents him or herself is what animates a person and gives them real substance. The state of mind, body and spirit behind any piece of clothing is often more important in sexual value than is how much skin is or isn’t displayed.

Before humans clothed themselves, the body played the primary part in the biological necessity of sexual attraction. Human beings were programmed more simply. The naked body was on display twenty-four seven, and so sensuousness - that supreme aphrodisiac - was all our ancestors relied on. But as we learned to wear clothes and “dress up” our bodies became merely a servant of our ego-driven concerns. Too many people today are so desensitized in their bodies, exiled in their intellects, dominated by emotions or imprisoned by their defenses and insecurities, that they are passing through life without ever knowing the miracle of fully inhabiting a vitally alive, sensuous and sensitive body; let alone know how to refine their basic and fundamentally primal sensuousness to project sexual attractiveness.

For me the issue shouldn’t be how much skin is too much skin but what does your body "say" when it "speaks"? Does it have a voice, a particular tone, or tenor? Does it give a fair and empowering voice to your deeper emotions, your sexual interest, your sexual desires and desirability?

Natural attractiveness may be a given, but many of us can increase our sexual attractiveness just by being able to be and live in our body and by learning how to use the body expressively as an intelligent communicator of ideas, emotions, sexual interest and desire. The intriguing skill is to know how to choose the most effective move, optimize the energy available at that moment, as well as turn the verbal and non-verbal hints offered by the other person into a unique, unusual personal and emotional experience. Once acquired, these advantage-gaining qualities are available for life.

About the Author: Christine Akiteng is a Sexual Confidence/Dating Coach and author of ebook: The Art Of Seducing Out Of Fullness™ is internationally renowned for her UNIQUE and genuinely insightful outlook to what love is really about, what is there to learn about who we really are and what we can expect from our sexual relations. Her very powerful and practical "Fullness Approach™" to dating and relationships and strong emphasis on "you don't need to attract many men/Women, just the RIGHT ONE" has helped many single men and women develop greater capacity to attract the RIGHT man or woman and create fulfilling relationships...

Christine's website:

Article Source: